Review, if you want me to go on writing with that, also, if you think the beginning sucked, okay? Because I don't have to go on writing if neither of you likes that ;-) But I hope, you'll enjoy…
The story starts after the "elevator scene" in 8x16, so you should probably have seen them to make a sense of it!
PS: There is actually a song called "Can't fight love" by "The411" and when I heard it, it immediately inspired me to write this story, because it couldn't be more perfect for Mark and Jackson from Jackson's POV ;-) If you have the chance, listen to it, it's even on Youtube =)
Title: "You can't fight Love"
Chapter Title: See I'm the one that loves you
Pairing: Mark Sloan/Jackson Avery - but not yet
Rating: PG-13 for now, definitely higher later
Word count: 1,555 - this chapter
Summary: Set directely after the "elevator scene" between Jackson and Mark in 8x16 so you should have seen it to make a sense out of it. Jackson thought Mark knew him, but obviously he didn't and he misunderstood his behaviour completely...
Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or their characters and make no money from this story. I'll write it just for fun and because Mark and Jackson inspire me so much, but that never happened in the show and most likely WILL never happen unfortunately ;-)
You can’t fight Love
Chapter 1: See I’m the one that loves you…
Once the door of his room fell shut after him, Jackson leaned against it, letting out a heavy sigh. He had really thought, Mark knew him after all these months they were hanging out now, but he was wrong, oh so wrong. Their little accidental meeting in the elevator said it all. Mark had truly tried to hook him up with some stranger, someone he didn’t even know himself, and even though Jackson had tried to hide it; that had really hurt. And it still did.
He had really wanted to tell Mark the truth about everything, about his feelings, but in the end he had showed the white feather and backed away. He had said good-bye and left Mark in the elevator and literally ran away.
Of course Mark must now think he was still in love with Lexie but he truly wasn’t. In fact he was in love with someone else, but she definitely played a big part in this whole story. She had made him realize what was wrong with him when she had joined him and Mark for dinner at Valentine’s Day. The whole time he had felt some kind of jealousy whenever Mark had touched her or the other way around, and the way Lexie had looked at Mark had almost made him sick, but he was able to pull himself together and made it through the whole awkwardness of the evening. Until Lexie had left and he had been alone with Mark again. They had studied the whole night until they had fallen asleep on the couch together and when he had woken up in Mark’s arms the next day, pressed close to his chest, it had hit him. The whole time he had thought he had been jealous of Mark but in fact it had been Lexie he had been jealous of. And the way Mark had looked at her sometimes. He would have given everything to get a look like that.
At first he had thought he was just overworked, he had tried to put the blame on all the hours he had spent with Mark, but then he had this dream – a sexual one – and wasn’t able to ignore the facts any longer; he felt attracted to Mark. For the first time in his life he had some feelings for another man and not any other man but Mark. And that was the reason he wasn’t interested in sex with a woman right now. Not as long as he hadn’t sorted out those feelings.
He had definitely wanted to talk to Mark about everything in the elevator. He had been pretty close to confess everything, until Mark had assumed he was still into Lexie and every bravery he might have had left had vanished with a single breath. And maybe it was for the best. God knows how much he could and would have destroyed with an avowal like that and he definitely didn’t want to lose Mark as a friend, but he also didn’t know how to deal with him any longer. Not as long as he felt the way he did. Those irrational feelings still confused him and scared the hell out of him, and maybe it was just a phase after all. At least that was what he tried to convince himself of, even though he knew deep down that it wasn’t true, and that this was something special, something big.
But instead Mark was still in love with Lexie, and not him, and he would never return his feelings. If Jackson hadn’t been sure about that before, he definitely was now. After all Mark had done today it was clear as mud that he had no problem with Jackson sleeping with some random chick, on the contrary he even wanted him to.
When Mark had started his whole ‘You need to get laid-mission’ Jackson had secretly hoped that at some point he would consider helping him or offering him sex, and Jackson would have taken the offer without any second thought, but of course that hadn’t happened. Jackson had thought that maybe, just maybe, there was something going on between them and that Mark felt it, too, but he had fooled himself.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a very loud knock on his door which made him jump aside, because he had still been pressed to said door with his back. Who the hell dared to bother him now? Hadn’t his day been hard enough? Doubtful he stared at the door, taking a few seconds before mumbling “What?” sounding just as annoyed as he felt. He just wanted to take a hot, long shower and go to bed to mentally prepare for tomorrow since he would have to face Mark again and needed to be strong.
“Come on, Jackson, open the door. It’s me, Mark,” Mark’s voice came from outside the room, causing Jackson to hold his breath in shock.
Hesitantly he took a step towards the door and grabbed the doorknob.
“What do you want? Is something wrong?” he asked after a few seconds, still staring at the closed door.
“Damn right something’s wrong. Would you please let me in now or do I have to shout it through the whole house?” Mark asked and he sounded annoyed himself by now.
“Doesn’t matter since no one’s here,” Jackson replied, but opened the door anyways and leaned against the doorframe. “What are you doing here?”
Mark fumbled with the hem of his black shirt, looking slightly nervous when he lifted his head and looked into his eyes. “I wanted to apologize.”
“Apologize?” Jackson asked, raising an eyebrow. “What for?”
“I crossed a line when I tried to get you laid today, and I know that by now. I shouldn’t have literally forced you to have sex and talk to Kepner behind your back,” Mark answered.
Jackson’s mouth fell open and he stared at Mark in disbelief. “You did what?” He knew Mark could be pretty ambitious when he wanted to reach his goals but he couldn’t quite process that he had even tried to get April to have sex with him.
“I said I’m sorry. Really. This is none of my business and I shouldn’t have tried to interfere,” Mark repeated his apology, but at that very moment his words didn’t reach Jackson. Instead he felt incredibly mad all of a sudden.
“You know what? Save it. You have no idea what I want or what I need, and even though I thought differently; you don’t really know me,” he blurted out, trying to slam the door in Mark’s face, but Mark’s foot in the doorstep kept him from shutting it completely.
“Leave me the fuck alone, okay? Go!”
“No, I won’t. Not before we’ve talked,” Mark insisted, not backing away a millimetre.
“I don’t wanna talk. Back off!” Jackson almost screamed, leaning against the door and trying once more to get it shut and this time Mark finally gave in and pulled back his foot.
“I understand that you’re angry, and I’m really sorry that because of me some old feelings for Lexie bubbled up again, but I’m your friend and I wanna be there for you,” Jackson heard Mark say and even though he stepped back from the door, he obviously didn’t want to leave for good. “You could have told me that you still have feelings for her and I would have sent her away the other day.”
“You said it yourself, it’s none of your business, so could you please just leave me alone now? Tomorrow’s gonna be a hard day and I have to be well-rested,” Jackson replied, just hoping he would get rid of Mark soon. The situation was already bad enough and he didn’t need Mark to see him like that.
“Okay,” Mark finally said. “Fine. I’ll go. But don’t think you’re off the hook. We’re gonna talk about this eventually. Have a good night.”
Jackson turned around and pressed his ear against the door, listening to the fading away footsteps until he heard a door open and then close again. He let out a relieved sigh. Finally. For a moment he thought Mark might decide to keep standing in front of his door until he was willing to talk to him, but he was safe. For now. He knew he would have to deal with Mark the next day unless he found a reason to avoid him, but that would most likely be very difficult since he was working under his service.
Maybe he should consider working under someone else’s service for a while, even though he couldn’t imagine doing anything else than plastics in the long run. But he also couldn’t imagine seeing Mark day by day, working with him for several hours every day and not acting on his feelings at some point. It was already bad enough that they were there in the first place, so taking a break might be the solution for him. Just as long as he had those kind of feelings for Mark. Maybe they would fade away by themselves then and they could go back to being friends like they had been for months. They just had to.