bm_shipper: (PP - Pete/Violet *Hug*)
Today my grandfather called me to tell me how bad it REALLY is with my grandmother, or better to say: how bad it has become through the night... she won't make it much longer... he called me to tell me if I wanna see her again, I should do it now, or there won't be a chance anymore to see her ever again...

She will die... soon... within the next couple of hours, maybe days, but it's already VERY bad... the end is near...

I went to the hospital to see her and yes, she looks awful, almost not recognizable anymore and so much different than last time I've seen her...

She's concious, but I don't know how much she still "gets"... I am sure she recognized me, because when I wanted to go the first time she grabbed my hand and obviously wanted me to stay... she's not able to talk anymore, her whole right side is paralyzed and she just lays there and looks...

She doesn't have any hair left and she's totally pale and thin and like I said... almost like she's someone else...
It's hard to even watch her and I really don't know how to cope with that...

A lot of people went there to see her today, like my relatives from styria or the foster parents of my niece (but without my niece) and such and everyone was crying and it was hard for me NOT to, but I just couldn't... but I'm crying now, where I'm back in my room alone...

Tomorrow she might already be dead, and call me cruel, seeing her like that made me almost want it to be over soon, because she's suffering... she was so full of live but nothing of it is there anymore and this is NO life... I don't think I would want to live like that, without being able to do ANYTHING on my own anymore and without being able to even communitcate... when she tries to talk, it's almost not understandable... she has a black eye because she fell out of the bed and it's just all very hard to take in...

That all happened because of the cancer... because she got a stroke, which the metastases in her brain caused...

MY BIRTHDAY IS CANCELLED THIS YEAR! I've already cancelled my cake order and all the plans I had made...=)
bm_shipper: (AWZ - Deniz/Roman *Herumwirbeln*)
 


The "clue" about the Adam Lambert stuff is: I asked this one woman via Youtube if she can send me a copy of the VIENNA concert, because she was there and she filmed... she was standing direclty behind me... well... and now I'm kinda close to tears, because she did not ONLY send me a DVD from Vienna, no, there was soooooooooo much more stuff, like the concerts of Stuttgart and Cologne and London and Paris and so on... OMG... I don't know what to say besides THANK YOU! She's not here, but I'm going to make this entry public because of that so that I can link her to it... OMG... That's soooooooo awesome... and this t-shirt... I love it... I don't know why I deserved all this, but I'm really totally touched...

Then I got the Christmas Card from [livejournal.com profile] astarlight ! THANK YOU! It's beautiful :-) I really love it... :-)

And also thank you to [livejournal.com profile] candream for the figure and the card :-) Very late, but at least it arrived, right? :-)
bm_shipper: (AWZ - Deniz/Roman *Herumwirbeln*)
 


The "clue" about the Adam Lambert stuff is: I asked this one woman via Youtube if she can send me a copy of the VIENNA concert, because she was there and she filmed... she was standing direclty behind me... well... and now I'm kinda close to tears, because she did not ONLY send me a DVD from Vienna, no, there was soooooooooo much more stuff, like the concerts of Stuttgart and Cologne and London and Paris and so on... OMG... I don't know what to say besides THANK YOU! She's not here, but I'm going to make this entry public because of that so that I can link her to it... OMG... That's soooooooo awesome... and this t-shirt... I love it... I don't know why I deserved all this, but I'm really totally touched...

Then I got the Christmas Card from [livejournal.com profile] astarlight ! THANK YOU! It's beautiful :-) I really love it... :-)

And also thank you to [livejournal.com profile] candream for the figure and the card :-) Very late, but at least it arrived, right? :-)
bm_shipper: (AWZ - Timo Hübsch)

Hey there… *waves*

I’m back from Germany… just came back about 2 hours ago and first took a shower… I needed that… after 2 nights without ANY sleep… well *lol*

But before I even start to write about my experiences, let me tell you, that was maybe the MOST AMAZING time I’ve EVER had… with a “celebrity”… and I REALLY mean EVER. The people who know me at least for a short time know that this was BY FAR not the first time I met a celebrity but it was the best thing that happened to me like forever. I NEVER felt THIS appreciated at all… but let’s just start at the beginning…

~ ...this was the time of my life... ~ )

bm_shipper: (AWZ - Timo Hübsch)

Hey there… *waves*

I’m back from Germany… just came back about 2 hours ago and first took a shower… I needed that… after 2 nights without ANY sleep… well *lol*

But before I even start to write about my experiences, let me tell you, that was maybe the MOST AMAZING time I’ve EVER had… with a “celebrity”… and I REALLY mean EVER. The people who know me at least for a short time know that this was BY FAR not the first time I met a celebrity but it was the best thing that happened to me like forever. I NEVER felt THIS appreciated at all… but let’s just start at the beginning…

~ ...this was the time of my life... ~ )

bm_shipper: (Katrin/Sebastian *WÜRZBURG*)
Heya…

So I’m now finally able to write a report about my „trip“ to Vienna… but it wasn’t THIS long, but I’m exhausted anyways… but I will share my experiences and pictures with you… which means, the people who want to read it :-)

Concert Report - including 73 pictures and VERY long!!! )

So it was SUCH a great experience and I just can’t wait to go on another concert somehow, even if it’s not on THIS tour, but there will come others… at least I hope so ;-)
bm_shipper: (Katrin/Sebastian *WÜRZBURG*)
Heya…

So I’m now finally able to write a report about my „trip“ to Vienna… but it wasn’t THIS long, but I’m exhausted anyways… but I will share my experiences and pictures with you… which means, the people who want to read it :-)

Concert Report - including 73 pictures and VERY long!!! )

So it was SUCH a great experience and I just can’t wait to go on another concert somehow, even if it’s not on THIS tour, but there will come others… at least I hope so ;-)
bm_shipper: (DSDS - Thomas Godoj *black*)

Heya you all :-)

Sooner than expected, I’m now writing the report from the Thomas Concert I was yesterday… I’m just in the mood for it… so I thought „So what, I will check my f-list later and just write this report“ :-) I’m still totally… I don’t know… crazy… this all was SO wonderful and so great… I wanna see Thomas and his band again… SOON! Very soon! As soon as possible… he said, he will come to Vienna again in Autumn! But I don’t think I can wait this long… he totally hooked me…


bm_shipper: (DSDS - Thomas Godoj *black*)

Heya you all :-)

Sooner than expected, I’m now writing the report from the Thomas Concert I was yesterday… I’m just in the mood for it… so I thought „So what, I will check my f-list later and just write this report“ :-) I’m still totally… I don’t know… crazy… this all was SO wonderful and so great… I wanna see Thomas and his band again… SOON! Very soon! As soon as possible… he said, he will come to Vienna again in Autumn! But I don’t think I can wait this long… he totally hooked me…


bm_shipper: (Fady&Denis *Squeeeeeeee*)
My day started at half hast three in the morning and I was really tired then… even if this was my own fault *lol* I shouldn’t have stayed up THIS long the evening before, to watch BONES. But I just couldn’t resist. But the good thing is: I was really tired and fell asleep within minutes, afterwards. But because BONES is really late here in german tv, I got around 4 hours sleep… *lol* Wow :P But like I said… my own fault…

The whole trip! VERY long... very NOT dial-up friendly, including 90 Pictures! )
bm_shipper: (Fady&Denis *Squeeeeeeee*)
My day started at half hast three in the morning and I was really tired then… even if this was my own fault *lol* I shouldn’t have stayed up THIS long the evening before, to watch BONES. But I just couldn’t resist. But the good thing is: I was really tired and fell asleep within minutes, afterwards. But because BONES is really late here in german tv, I got around 4 hours sleep… *lol* Wow :P But like I said… my own fault…

The whole trip! VERY long... very NOT dial-up friendly, including 90 Pictures! )

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