Can't fight this feeling - Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff One-Shot

[bm_shipper]

Heya...

Well... here I am with a new fanfic... my first ADAM LAMBERT Fanfic ever... *blushes* I didn't mean to write it anyways... and I planned to finish my "GZSZ/AWZ" Fanfic before I even start something new, but since this is a one-shot and I couldn't get the idea out of my head, I wrote it down... I wrote it BEFORE I read that Tommy and Adam spent New Year's Eve together anyways, so well, it's kinda "AU" now ;-)

I haven't written many fanfics in english at all, and since I'm Austrian, it's still hard to do so... so I hope, it's not too bad... ;-) Comments are very appreciated... if you'll find any errors, you can keep them as a present =P

Title: "Can't fight this feeling"
Part: One-Shot
Writer: bm_shipper
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff
Rating: PG-13 I would say
Word count: 2,090
Language: English
Summary: Tommy thinks he has to spend New Year's Eve with his family and starts missing someone very much
Disclaimer: I own nothing... and of course this never happened. This is just a piece of FANFICTION! Really!

Thanks to wbaker5286 for looking over the fic and helping me with a few errors =D

=== Can’t fight this feeling ===

 

Totally lost in thought, Tommy was sitting on the window sill in his room in his family’s house looking out of the window. He wasn’t exactly looking at anything or anyone, just staring and hoping this day would pass soon. It was New Year’s Eve and he was home with his family instead of being with Adam – the only person he really wanted to spend the evening with: maybe the most important person in his life. And Adam didn’t even know Tommy had those kind of feelings for him. They never really talked about it, and offstage they’ve always been just friends. Most likely because he himself had always pointed out how straight he was whenever he was asked questions about his sexual orientation. No wonder Adam didn’t even think he could be attracted to him.

 

Tommy breathed out loudly, instinctively grabbing the black pearl necklace Adam had given him before they had to say good-bye after their last international concert of the Glam-Nation-Tour in London.

 

“I want you to have it.” Adam had told him the morning after the concert, when they were standing in the hotel lobby ready to say good-bye.

 

“But Adam, this is…” Tommy had swallowed hard. “You always said how much this necklace means to you.”

 

Adam nodded firmly. “It does. But I want you to have something from me while we’re apart. You can give it back to me when we see each other again. And maybe you’ll think about me when you’re wearing it.”

 

Tommy had thrown his arms around the back of Adam’s neck and pulled him into a tight hug. “I will.” he’d promised him fighting down the tears building up in his eyes. He’d expected it would be hard to let Adam go to Paris all by himself and fly home to the USA instead, but he had had no idea how much he would really miss him.

 

The days until the Jingle Balls and then the final two shows in L.A. had been hard and he’d felt lonelier than ever before in his whole life. But those days had made him think; think about everything that had happened over the past months, think about his feelings for Adam. In the beginning their stage-play was really just fan-service. He was comfortable with his sexuality, and when Adam asked him if it would be okay for him to kiss him on stage, he didn’t even think about it for a second. He trusted Adam, and he just knew Adam would never do anything he wouldn’t want. And he didn’t.

 

Nevertheless their stage-play had become more and more intense with time. It’d started out with little tongue games, leading to full mouth kisses and a lot of touching. The more that’d happened between them, the more Tommy had wanted it to happen, and when it didn’t, he felt a disappointment within him. For example when they had played “Fever” at the Jingle Ball in Miami and Adam hadn’t even touched him. He knew it just wasn’t the right audience to appreciate their usual show. Still, it had left Tommy kinda longing for more. It had made him realize that he wanted so much more of Adam. He wanted to kiss him and hug him and touch him all of the time. He wanted to be with him, like seriously be with him.

 

At first only the thought of really being with Adam – like being a couple – had scared the shit out of him, because he was never with a man before, but after a while he realized, that he didn’t care at all. He didn’t love Adam because he was a man; he loved him, because he was Adam. He had fallen for him as a person, and he knew Adam could make him happy. He already did make him happy, indeed. The past months had been the most intense in his whole life and he definitely didn’t regret that he went to Adam’s audition and became his bassist.

 

With a heavy sigh Tommy looked at his watch. It was still about five hours until midnight, and he just had dinner with his family. He’d excused himself by telling them that he didn’t feel all too well and needed a little rest, even though it wasn’t really the truth. Being with his family had become kinda depressing since his father had died, and although he loved them all to no end, in moments like that, he rather wanted to be alone in his room instead of trying to play the happy family they aren’t anymore.

 

He pulled his mobile phone out of his pants pocket and turned it on. He needed to speak to Adam right then, needed to hear his voice, needed to feel he was there. He pressed the 2 for several seconds because he had Adam on quick dialling number 2, and then he waited – waited until he heard the free line signal. Only a few moments later Adam’s voice-mail went on, and Tommy let out a small sigh.

 

“Hello, this is Adam. Please leave a message after the beep.”

 

Tommy waited a few seconds, but then he just hung up without saying a single word. He wouldn’t have known what to say, anyways. Instead he decided to write Adam a text message.

 

I miss you. You have no idea how much I want to be with you right now. How much I want to spend New Year’s Eve with you. Tommy

 

He sent the message its way before even thinking about it, just noticing afterwards how desperate and silly this message maybe sounded.

 

“Fuck.” He cursed, clenching his fist and rolling his eyes. Adam might think he was crazy after reading this text message and he’d rather take everything back, but before he even had the chance to type another text message, his mobile phone beeped twice.

 

Tommy’s heartbeat quickened when Adam’s name appeared on his display and even more so when he opened the text message Adam had sent him.

 

I miss you too, Baby. But we might see each other sooner than you may expect. Just keep holding on. Adam

 

A smile curled around Tommy’s lips, and he clutched his phone with one hand and Adam’s necklace with the other one. He’d tried to give Adam his necklace back after the last show, but Adam had told him to keep it for a while longer, and so he did. He knew it was just a stupid necklace, but for Tommy it was so much more. It was like a connection to Adam. He felt closer to Adam with it round his neck, felt kinda secure and safe. He even wore it for his NoH8 Shooting.

 

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts, and he slid off the window sill, turning around.

 

“Yes? What is it, mom?” He was pretty sure it was his mother, concerned like she always was, and looking for him because of it.

 

When the door opened, he held his breath and just stared at the person in front of him disbelievingly. His mouth dropped open, and he wanted to say something, anything, but no sound left his lips. Instead, he just stood there looking at his visitor. He took a step forward, afraid he was just dreaming, but when the person in front of him came closer either and reached for Tommy, he knew he wasn’t.

 

“Adam!” A choked sob escaped his lips and he looped his arms around Adam’s neck and pressed his whole body against Adam’s. “I can’t believe you’re here.” He whispered, clinging to him.

 

“I told you, we’re gonna see each other sooner than you expect.” Adam answered, pulling Tommy even closer, his hands stroking Tommy’s back.

 

Tommy felt the tears welling up in his eyes and pressed his face against Adam’s chest, trying to fight them back, but it was just too much to handle for the moment. Too much to bear.

 

“Sssht… I’m here, Baby! I’m right here,” he heard Adam whisper, felt his arms surrounding him.

 

It took him a while to calm down enough to look up at Adam, tears still glistering in his eyes. “I missed you so much.”

 

“I missed you, too,” Adam replied. “But I’m here now, and I won’t go anywhere.” He placed his hands on Tommy’s cheeks gently wiping away the last tears with his thumbs.

 

Tommy closed his eyes for a moment, just leaning into Adam’s touch, and when he looked at him again, his heart started racing. Adam’s blue eyes met his, and he felt like there was an invisible power drawing him closer to Adam until there faces were only inches apart.

 

Adam’s hot breath tickled his skin and he just wanted to kiss Adam. Right there. Right then. Maybe he shouldn’t do it, but his body didn’t listen to his brain. Before he’d it realized it himself, his lips were already pressed against Adams in desperate need.

 

Once more he closed his eyes, just hoping Adam wouldn’t turn him down.

 

It took a few seconds, but finally Adam started responding to the kiss, pulling Tommy in a tight embrace. Their lips moved against each other ever so gently, until Tommy decided it was enough foreplay and deepened the kiss. His tongue brushed Adam’s lips and when Adam opened his mouth, Tommy’s tongue slid inside and started exploring it.

 

The kiss lasted for what felt like an eternity, and when they finally tore apart, Tommy felt his cheeks getting hot. He turned away, taking a deep breath. It took Tommy a few seconds to realize what he’d just done. He’d kissed Adam.

 

Before he had the chance to think about it anymore, he felt Adam’s hands on his shoulders, felt Adam turning him around. He looked down on the floor, unable to lift his head. He was afraid. Afraid to find something like rejection in Adam’s eyes, something he wouldn’t be able to bear right then. He should have told Adam how he felt about him before kissing him. He should have talked to him and not just acted.

 

“Tommy, look at me,” he heard Adam say.

 

Instinctively, he shook his head. “I can’t.”

 

“Yes, you can,” Adam replied, putting two fingers under Tommy’s chin and forcing him to lift his head. When their gazes met, Tommy saw a lot of feelings within Adam’s eyes, but none of it was rejection.

 

“Why did you kiss me?” Adam demanded to know. His voice was gentle and warm.

 

Tommy bit his bottom lip nervously. “Because… I…” He closed his eyes for a brief moment, before opening them again and looking at Adam. “Because I love you. Not like a friend. I really love you,” he finally spurted out, relieved that it was out.

 

Adam watched him with a surprised look. “Really? Are you sure? I mean-”

 

A small smile circled around Tommy’s lips. “Yes, Adam. Yes, I’m sure.”

 

“But you said you were…” Adam started, but Tommy cut him off.

 

“I know exactly what I said. But I can’t deny my feelings any longer. They’re just there, and whenever we kiss on stage, I want nothing more than go on kissing you when we’re off stage.” He buried one of his hands in his blond hair, sighing deeply. “I know I just messed up our whole friendship by kissing you, and I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t stop myself.”

 

“Don’t be sorry.” Adam’s voice sounded caring. “If I’d known you felt the same way about me that I feel about you, I would’ve made the first step weeks… maybe months ago.”

 

“You mean, you…?” Tommy looked up at Adam with disbelief.

 

Adam nodded, bridging the distance between them and pulling Tommy into his arms. “I love you, Tommy Joe. More than you can imagine. And I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you.”

 

And with this confession everything was said and their lips met for another kiss, starting sweet and gentle, but turning into passion within seconds. Adam was a damn good kisser – not that Tommy hadn’t known before – but kissing him then, in his own room, felt so much different. In a good way, though.

 

About ten minutes previously Tommy had been sure this evening would be one of the worst New Year’s Eve’s he had ever experienced, but what started so bad had a good chance of becoming the best New Year’s Eve ever. With Adam by his side, Tommy was sure, he could do everything.

 

===End===

Comments

[wizardesslyn.livejournal.com]

This was sweet!
Love the banner!

[bm-shipper.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!
I made the banner myself :-)

And it's the first time I EVER wrote Adommy... maybe I'll write some more in the future, I'm juts always very... I don't know... I always think I'm not good enough to write in english ;-)